Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way back when I was just a little boy
in a box
Under the
In the of the basement
In the house half a block down the from Jerry's Bait Shop
You know the

anyway,
Back then was going swell
And everything was peachy!

of course for the undeniable fact
That every morning
My mother would me a big ol' bowl of
Sauer for breakfast

Big of sauer kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, what's up all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just looked at me a cow looks
At an oncoming
And she leaned down next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And she tied me to the wall
And stuck a in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but kraut
Until I was and a half years old

when I swore that someday,
Someday I would get outta basement
And to a magical, far away place,
Where the sun is shining
And the air like warm root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the and the lepers
Play their ukuleles all day
And anyone on the
Will gladly shave back for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't long at all before my dream true
the very next day,
A local station had this contest
To see who could guess the number
Of in Leonard Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I still won the prize
That's right, a first class, one-way
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd never
On a airplane before
And I gotta ya
It was really

that I had to sit
Between two large Albanian
With excruciatingly severe body
And the kid in back of me
Kept throwin' up the whole
The flight ran out of
Dr. Pepper and salted
And the in-flight was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines out
And we went a tailspin
And crashed into a
And the exploded in a giant fireball
And died!
Except for me. You why?

'Cause I had my table up
And my back in the full upright position
Had my tray up
And my seat back in the full position
Had my table up
And my seat in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I from the twisted, burnin', wreckage
I crawled on my and knees
For three days
Draggin' along my big leather
And my bag
And my saxophone
And my bowlin' ball
And my lucky, autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel!

But I arrived at the world famous
Albuquerque Inn!
the towels are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat soup
out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's okay, clean!

Well, I into my room,
And I down the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
That little chocolate on my pillow
I love so very, very much,
When there's a knock on the door

Well, now, who that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" no answer
"WHO IS IT!?" not sayin' anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
some big, fat hermaphrodite
With a of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I hate it I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts my room,
And he my lucky snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you can't that!
That snorkel's been like a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he grabbed my
And I bit off his ear
And he off my eyebrows
And I out his appendix
And he gave me a irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you believe it!

And somehow in the of it all
The got knocked off the hook
And seconds later,
I a familiar voice
And you know it said?
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd like to a call,
Please up and try again
If you help,
Hang up and then dial operator
If you'd to make a call
Please up and try again.
If you need
Hang up and then dial operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long short,
He got away with my
But I made a vow
then and there
That I not rest,
I not sleep for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was brought to
But first, I to buy some donuts

So I got in my car
And I drove over to the shop
And I walked on up to the guy the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta donuts."
I said, "You got any cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, we're cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, outta apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, we're bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In that case, do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is this box of one
crazed weasels."
I said, "Okay, I'll that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the weasels out
And they immediately latch onto my
And bitin' me all over

Oh, man, were just goin' nuts!
They tearin' me apart!
You know,
I it was just about that time
that a little started goin' through my head
I believe it went a little somethin' like

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out the street
With these flesh-eating
All my face,
Wavin' my all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
a constipated wiener dog

And as would have it,
That's when I ran into
The girl of my
Her name was

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And hair the color of peaches

I'll forget
The very thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got weasels on face."

when I knew it was true love

We inseparable after that
Aw, we ate
We bathed
We even shared the piece
Of mint-flavored floss
The was our burrito

So we got married,
And we us a house
And had two children,
Nathaniel and
Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh

But then, one night,
said to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm not ready for that kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I saw her again
But that's just the way go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, really started
up for me,
Because about a week
I finally achieved my dream
right, I got me a part-time job
At the Sizzler!

I even employee of the month
I put out that grease fire
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was pretty
Of me after
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to my excess earwax
a golf pencil,
When I see guy Marty
to carry a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to you with that?"
And Marty, he rolls his eyes
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and with a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And then he gets all on me
like, "Hey, man, I was just being sarcastic!"
Well, just great.
How was I supposed to know
I'm not a reader,
For out loud

Besides, now got
A really cute - Torso-Boy!
So what's he complaining

Say, that reminds me of another anecdote
guy comes up to me on the street
And he tells me he had a bite
In days

Well, I what he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his jugular
And he's yelling and
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, get it?"
But he keeps rolling around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The irony of the whole
Man, some just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda lost my of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And find in an existential quandry,
Full of loathing and
And wracked with the pain and
Of your meaningless existence,
At least you can a small bit of comfort
In knowing that somewhere out in this
Crazy ol' mixed-up of ours,
There's a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!