Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way when I was just a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the of the basement
In the house half a down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop
You know the

anyway,
Back then was going swell
And was just peachy!

Except of for the undeniable fact
every single morning
My mother make me a big ol' bowl of
Sauer for breakfast

Big bowl of kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just looked at me a cow looks
At an train
And she right down next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And she tied me to the wall
And stuck a in my mouth
And force fed me but sauer kraut
Until I was twenty-six and a years old

That's when I swore someday,
Someday I would get outta basement
And travel to a magical, far place,
Where the sun is always
And the air smells like warm beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

the shriners and the lepers
Play their ukuleles all day
And on the street
Will gladly shave your for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't long at all before my dream true
Because the next day,
A local station had this contest
To see who could correctly the number
Of in Leonard Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I won the grand prize
right, a first class, one-way ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd been
On a airplane before
And I gotta ya
It was really

that I had to sit
Between two Albanian women
With excruciatingly severe body
And the little kid in of me
throwin' up the whole time
The flight ran out of
Dr. and salted peanuts
And the movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, of the airplane engines burned out
And we went a tailspin
And crashed into a
And the plane in a giant fireball
And died!
Except for me. You know

'Cause I had my table up
And my back in the full upright position
Had my tray up
And my seat back in the full upright
Had my table up
And my seat in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin',
I on my hands and knees
For three days
along my big leather suitcase
And my bag
And my tenor
And my 12-pound ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed snorkel!

But finally I at the world famous
Albuquerque Inn!
Where the are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat your
Right out of the if you wanna
It's okay, clean!

Well, I checked my room,
And I turned the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
That chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, much,
suddenly there's a knock on the door

Well, now, who that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" There's no
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's some big, fat
With a of seagulls, haircut,
And only one
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He into my room,
And he grabs my snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
That snorkel's been just like a to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he off my eyebrows
And I out his appendix
And he gave me a colonic
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And in the middle of it all
The phone got off the hook
And twenty later,
I heard a familiar
And you know what it
I'll tell ya it said!

It said, "If you'd like to a call,
hang up and try again
If you help,
Hang up and then dial your
If you'd like to a call
hang up and try again.
If you need
Hang up and then dial your
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a story short,
He got with my snorkel
But I a solemn vow
then and there
That I not rest,
I not sleep for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was brought to
But first, I decided to buy some

So I got in my car
And I drove to the donut shop
And I on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, outta glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, outta cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, we're outta claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In that case, do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
Starving weasels."
I said, "Okay, take that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the jump out
And immediately latch onto my face
And bitin' me all over

Oh, man, they were just nuts!
were tearin' me apart!
You know,
I think it was just about that
that a ditty started goin' through my head
I believe it a little somethin' like this:

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the
With flesh-eating weasels
All my face,
Wavin' my all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
Like a constipated dog

And as luck have it,
That's exactly I ran into
The girl of my
Her was Zelda

She was a enthusiast,
a slight overbite,
And hair the of strained peaches

I'll never
The first thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
got weasels on your face."

That's I knew it was true love

We inseparable after that
Aw, we ate
We together
We even shared the piece
Of dental floss
The was our burrito

So we got married,
And we bought us a
And had two children,
Nathaniel and
Oh we so very, very, very happy, oh yeah

But then, one night,
Zelda to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm not ready for that kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I never saw her
But that's the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things started
up for me,
Because about a week
I finally achieved my lifelong
right, I got me a part-time job
At the Sizzler!

I even made of the month
I put out that grease fire
my face!

Aw yeah, was pretty jealous
Of me after
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to remove my excess
a golf pencil,
When I see guy Marty
to carry a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And then he all indignant on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was being sarcastic!"
Well, just great.
How was I supposed to know
I'm not a reader,
For out loud

Besides, now got
A cute nickname - Torso-Boy!
So what's he complaining

Say, that reminds me of another amusing
This guy comes up to me on the
And he me he hasn't had a bite
In three

Well, I what he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his jugular
And yelling and screaming
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, get it?"
But he keeps rolling around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The irony of the whole
Man, some people just can't a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda lost my of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know it's kind of a way
Of it, but,
I guess the whole I'm tryin' to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And find yourself in an quandry,
of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the pain and
Of pitiful meaningless existence,
At least you can take a bit of comfort
In knowing that somewhere out there in
Crazy ol' universe of ours,
There's a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!