Now, I'll tell ya a that'll bust yer heart only a few people knew, ta start It all place when our concert tour was booked at the SeaTac Hilton? I'll guarantee ev'ry the Gospel truth Got witnesses ta it, too, 'Cause we all toured with a fella by the a' Milton
Now Milton was tour director, Electrical piano-playin' plug An' the slave-drivin'-est travel That we ever in our lives He'd say "Whaddya mean, ya more rest? "The world don't care whether ya yer best! "Simply show up promptly at six A.M. with instruments ...and your wives!"
in sorta of "Bringing In The Sheaves" way] Shall we at the airport?
He'd always arrive in the nick a' A good five minutes ahead a' flight A-lookin' like he'd been drug through a eye He'd stand there, stoned and about ta On his Egg an' his giant Coke An' then throw all the tickets on the counter and say "Check the bags and fly!" "Well, whaddya mean, this is too weight? "We only got pieces a' freight! "And if it go, who's gonna explain it to our fan club in Tacoma?"
all get embarassed an' head for the plane While stood there, bein' profane But somehow he always managed ta get on board ...in sort of a
When the drinks were up yonder...
Well, we at th' other end All the seemed to commence again Though Milton had ordered three wagons, a pickup truck and a limo And though he'd ahead to that Number Two Cussin' an' an' turnin' blue always end up with two Datsoons and a Pinto
Now Milton took all a' stuff in stride Laid on the floor, an' an' cried But we looked up to him for hope and salvation But we'd to the bottom a' trav'lers hell When check us in a remote motel And he'd the clerk by his shirt an' tie an' say "Whaddya mean, reservacines?"
Milton's bolder...
He'd shut himself in one-oh-four Let nobody in 'til he the floor Adjusted the lampshade, aligned the TV, the faucet, called the promoter "Well, whaddya mean we're the warmup "You're puttin' me on! stars, ya know! "And this ain't the way we was treated last at Six Flags Over Dakota! "Now we gotta a hunnert percent top billing, "Two-thirds in advance, a' course, you silly! "I'm sure we prefer a chauffered limosine and two air-conditioned rooms, please. "I'm what? Well, so's your wife! She's not? Well, to his own. "Beg pardon, stick it in my Well, really, Merle who?"
William Morris, us working...
Now, Milton was a real good a' mine An' we'd stuck together on that line But there was one or two points over which we just had to takin'-your-clothes-off-an'-hangin'-from-a-cross-in-front-a'-the-Tri-County-Fairgrounds Is not necessarily an assurance that the crowd gonna start throwin' tomatas An' ya arrive at four for a five o'clock show An' the stage ain't built an' there's no About all ya could do is sit on yer butt an' cut However, you give ol' Milton strong bodies, a nine-foot grand, a beer and a cigarette An' you just knew that show was gonna be ...outta
Bringing in the in the bread...
Now one night up in Washington We didn't get paid for a show we'd An' poor ol' Milton couldn't live that; his brain just shorted out. Well, he locked in the bathroom An' then when he didn't come out for an hour an' a We figgered that somethin' was wrong, but we had to remove all We stood in shock and horror When we busted down that there bathroom And I hope I never see a like that again; no, I don't was nothin' to do but close our eyes, an' bow our heads, an' vocalize With a silent five-part hymn, for him
What a we had in Milton...
Now we're gettin' ready, come next To put another tour together And I'm sad to say ol' Milton a-gonna be with us No, it ain't gonna be exactly the they introduce us without his name So Milton, wherever you are, we you miss us! See, Milton has moved on down the Over the rainbow, for gold Yeah, he's up there where the lights is always on But we can't forget curly hair When we saw him a-settin' there Holdin' his tambourine, suckin' his thumb, an' sound on the john